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1.1:
What Are UFOs?
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Matt
Joyce
(guitar/vocals) |
Matt
Waters
(bass/recording) |
Logan
Kayne
(guitar/vocals) |
Smatt
Stratton
(drums) |
Justin
Aten
(guitar/vocals) |
We're
a lo-fi/rock/garage band from Madison, WI. We seem to
have a reputation for being very, very loud. We've been
"playing out" since early 1999, and released the
eight-song EP Who Owns Big Fire? in December of that
year.
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1.2:
History?
We assembled
"The Teenage UFOs" late in the summer of 1998, composed
entirely of ex-members of the seminal Wisconsin avant-garde
noise known as Chemical Imbalance. Equally determined
to alienate other ex-members, shrug off the bad conotations
(gleefully produced by the CI musical juggernaut) and steal
your money, the UFOs set out to create pop rock songs
that challenge the integrity of America's infastructure
whilst puppeteering the innocent-minded youngfolk.
The UFOs
began as a side project of a side project. Matt Joyce, Logan
Gasser and Matt Waters joined up to create some sort of a
rock n' roll band. Our first unofficial, three-song show came
about on October 27th, 1998, (as the result of Chemical
Imbalance getting more-or-less banned from the venue just
before a gig. Sure, I guess it was our fault. Maybe.).
Anyway,
late in 2000, we changed our name to simply The UFOs,
as few of our members are technically "teenage"
anymore.
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1.3:
Quit lying, asshole! What really happened?
Justin
Aten, official lead guitarist andl band historian,
as quoted from Rolling
Stone's Super Sexy Sizzling Celebrity Bulges
2000 issue:
"The beginnings of The UFOs started about forty-seven years
ago when the young Matt Joyce, Logan Kayne and
Matt Waters met and became fast friends. All
were interested in music but more importantly all were disgusted
with the current state that music is in. They wanted
music loud, they wanted music intense, and they wanted something
different. However, what they wanted did not exist in the
current scene."
Telling,
no?
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2.1:
Where can I see The UFOs play?
We'll
play your basement. We'll play your apartment. We'll play
your S+M party. Er, no, I guess we didn't really play as
a band that time around.... But now we're getting a little
off-topic.
You can
usually catch us playing around Madison at any one of the
wide selection of venues (that's a whole three places,
folks, don't become overwhelmed!). We've also played shows
in Milwaukee and Madison's suburbs...
We're especially fond of Cafe Assisi (many thanks to
the staff and patrons who put up with us again and again...),
so sooner or later, you'll undoubtedly find us there.
Need a
band for a show? Wanna invite us to your dungeon? Email
us!
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2.2:
Where do you guys practice?
At the
UFO Palace. Any true fan knows where this is.

Figure
2.2: The UFO Palace (circa 1998)
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2.3:
Are you guys HARDCORE? (submitted by Shawn McPasty)
Yes, quite.
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2.4:
What are live performances like?
A lot
like this:

Figure
2.4: Arsenio Hall introduces The UFOs on The Smothers
Brothers Comedy Hour, 1976 |
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3.1:
I think you guys are really cute. (submitted by nobody)
Because
of the endless bombardment of marriage proposals, we've created
a section of the FAQ devoted entirely to trivial information
designed to soothe your DiCaprio-inspired lust for us. It's
called...
Fun
Facts: Get to Know the Intimate Details!
Matt
Joyce
Nickname: Johnny Blaze
Bio: enjoys waterskiing, tennis and warm summer
afternoons. His favorite television shows include Three's
Company and Charles In Charge.
Logan
Kayne
Nickname: Johnny Zero
Bio: likes to trim his toenails and hang out at
the beach. Other favorite pastimes include water polo and
looking at shiny objects.
Matt
Stratton
Nickname: Smatt
Bio: Matt is a big fan of Swamp Buggy Racing and
Improv Contemporary Interpretive Dance. He is currently employed
by The Man.
Matt
Waters
Nicknames: "you hippie fuck," boxxxcuttta,
Johnny Paycheck
Bio: was found in the park one day, and enjoys
Acute Terminal Nausea and Extreme Tunnel Vision.
Justin
Aten
Nicknames: Lonesome Johnny, Rick Nielsen
Bio: rolled into town on a Georgia-bound boxcar
filled with three tons of cranberry sauce. He then founded
the Church of Scientology,
and that's where we found him. Be sure to check out his new
book, "Dianetics."
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3.2:
What do you guys do for a living?
Here's
how we afford our rock-n-roll lifestyles, as of 11-00:
Logan
Kayne: record store clerk.
Smatt
Stanton: printer/copier tech support
Matt
Waters: Windows tech support.
Matt
Joyce: convenience specialist.
Justin
Aten: adult film industry.
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