1.1: What Are UFOs?

Matt Joyce (guitar/vocals)	Matt Waters (bass/recording)	Logan Kayne (guitar/vocals)	Smatt Stratton (drums)	Justin Aten (guitar/vocals)

We're a lo-fi/rock/garage band from Madison, WI. We seem to have a reputation for being very, very loud. We've been "playing out" since early 1999, and released the eight-song EP Who Owns Big Fire? in December of that year.

1.2: History?

We assembled "The Teenage UFOs" late in the summer of 1998, composed entirely of ex-members of the seminal Wisconsin avant-garde noise known as Chemical Imbalance. Equally determined to alienate other ex-members, shrug off the bad conotations (gleefully produced by the CI musical juggernaut) and steal your money, the UFOs set out to create pop rock songs that challenge the integrity of America's infastructure whilst puppeteering the innocent-minded youngfolk.

The UFOs began as a side project of a side project. Matt Joyce, Logan Gasser and Matt Waters joined up to create some sort of a rock n' roll band. Our first unofficial, three-song show came about on October 27th, 1998, (as the result of Chemical Imbalance getting more-or-less banned from the venue just before a gig. Sure, I guess it was our fault. Maybe.).

Anyway, late in 2000, we changed our name to simply The UFOs, as few of our members are technically "teenage" anymore.

1.3: Quit lying, asshole! What really happened?

Justin Aten, official lead guitarist andl band historian, as quoted from Rolling Stone's Super Sexy Sizzling Celebrity Bulges 2000 issue:

"The beginnings of The UFOs started about forty-seven years ago when the young Matt Joyce, Logan Kayne and Matt Waters met and became fast friends. All were interested in music but more importantly all were disgusted with the current state that music is in. They wanted music loud, they wanted music intense, and they wanted something different. However, what they wanted did not exist in the current scene."

Telling, no?

2.1: Where can I see The UFOs play?

We'll play your basement. We'll play your apartment. We'll play your S+M party. Er, no, I guess we didn't really play as a band that time around.... But now we're getting a little off-topic.

You can usually catch us playing around Madison at any one of the wide selection of venues (that's a whole three places, folks, don't become overwhelmed!). We've also played shows in Milwaukee and Madison's suburbs...

We're especially fond of Cafe Assisi (many thanks to the staff and patrons who put up with us again and again...), so sooner or later, you'll undoubtedly find us there.

Need a band for a show? Wanna invite us to your dungeon? Email us!

2.2: Where do you guys practice?

At the UFO Palace. Any true fan knows where this is.

Figure 2.2: The UFO Palace (circa 1998)

 

2.3: Are you guys HARDCORE? (submitted by Shawn McPasty)

Yes, quite.

2.4: What are live performances like?

A lot like this:

Figure 2.4: Arsenio Hall introduces The UFOs on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, 1976

3.1: I think you guys are really cute. (submitted by nobody)

Because of the endless bombardment of marriage proposals, we've created a section of the FAQ devoted entirely to trivial information designed to soothe your DiCaprio-inspired lust for us. It's called...

Fun Facts: Get to Know the Intimate Details!

Matt Joyce
Nickname: Johnny Blaze
Bio: enjoys waterskiing, tennis and warm summer afternoons. His favorite television shows include Three's Company and Charles In Charge.

Logan Kayne
Nickname: Johnny Zero
Bio: likes to trim his toenails and hang out at the beach. Other favorite pastimes include water polo and looking at shiny objects.

Matt Stratton
Nickname: Smatt
Bio: Matt is a big fan of Swamp Buggy Racing and Improv Contemporary Interpretive Dance. He is currently employed by The Man.

Matt Waters
Nicknames: "you hippie fuck," boxxxcuttta, Johnny Paycheck
Bio: was found in the park one day, and enjoys Acute Terminal Nausea and Extreme Tunnel Vision.

Justin Aten
Nicknames: Lonesome Johnny, Rick Nielsen
Bio: rolled into town on a Georgia-bound boxcar filled with three tons of cranberry sauce. He then founded the Church of Scientology, and that's where we found him. Be sure to check out his new book, "Dianetics."

3.2: What do you guys do for a living?

Here's how we afford our rock-n-roll lifestyles, as of 11-00:

Logan Kayne: record store clerk.

Smatt Stanton: printer/copier tech support

Matt Waters: Windows tech support.

Matt Joyce: convenience specialist.

Justin Aten: adult film industry.